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Quotable QuotesThese quotes may be the result of professors entertaining their class. Or, perhaps they are a sign of sleep deprivation? Or a unique outlook? Or is it just taken completely out of context? You decide. In any case, they are presented here for your amusement (and should not be held against the quoted parties). "A comma inside a comma... it adds a much more literal interpretation of a comma-splice." "That bit is just there because we like to waste bandwidth." "You have a quote editor? Wooooow." "Sam: We should call it Cerebro... what, you know your nerdy little hearts are jumping up and down.
"I know I am preaching to the choir here, but sometimes you have to do that, otherwise the choir gets depressed. Have you ever noticed that? It's a symbiotic relationship." "I find that fostering complacency is the best way to motivate people." "Chris: Yeah, well... we're gods... our way will work.
"That is a painful, but valuble lesson... I hope it happens to you all." "I rarely believe what logicians say." "I am glad you asked because I don't know the answer." "On a normal computer, that is, a computer not running Scheme..." "I guess I lied." "And how do we... oh, I'm done." "I was trained to hate bangs." "Do it as any normal, non-geeky mathematician would do it..." "There must be a strategy to all this... maybe I should write one sometime..." "Patience young grasshopper... Must learn to hop digital first. Hopping is digital, flying is analog!" "There's nothing like watching a couple of million pixels wiggling at you." "This is our little way of sticking it to the man." "It is debatable what you mean by people." "I let him go on because he's clearly a nutcase." "I don't need any of your Captain Planet heart powers. ... Did I just make your quote list?" "The law of physics still apply here..." "I have no idea how to count to 8 when I'm drawing stair steps on the board." "He thought Boole was full of Boologna." "I'm not letting you cut me open just because you stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night." "We're analog people... we all need therapy." "I want to live in a Borg pod someday." "It's hard enough for me to stay on topic when I'm drawing cats that look like dogs." "How do you know a program is not correct? Anybody work with Peoplesoft?" "It's hard to be a thug when you're carrying muffins." "Empty space computes... I want that on my tombstone." "Everything must be smooth and empty space computes" "If you're crooked in your brain, you can do a lot of things" "... it's almost like magic..." "Big. Think big!" "And now it's the Computer Scientists' turn to be offended. Everyone in this room will be offended by something or I guess I haven't done my job." "You all are lucky I only take quotes in academic settings..." "Craig: One thing I'll take away from this course: 'NEVER DATE A STUDENT.' "In theory, it could have worked, but not the way it was wired." "I really do not understand how you're still alive." "Craig: You were impressed that I knew that. "Craig: ... Oh, that's obvious. There really ought to be a sign or something... "What? It's intuitive. You're just supposed to know it." "What? Your family bought you a couch?! My family buys me socks!" "My partner is more unfocused than a Wal-Mart disposable camera." "Cancel class two days in a row? What do they think we are? <omitted school name here>?" "They want to know what you're going to do so they can index the living daylights out of them..." "... and that's probably a real immediately, not a Prof. Wyss immediately..." "CJ: So you're on a normal schedule? "It doesn't exactly make the world go round, but it helps." "So I tell them 'yeah, everything you want to know about hacking is on this website. But first, you've got to have Unix.' And they ask 'What's Unix?' 'A car.' ... and some of them would probably believe me, too." "I've concocted this example so that the next insert is really painful..." "Let's pretend these definitions make sense..." "Yeah, I'm going to trust that..." "You have to look at it. it's like a train wreck. You can't help it." "I shudder to figure out what you just said." "That takes the same amount of space as what I suggested but has the advantage of working." "I want you to see this in its really gross detail." "The answer is I'm just trying to confuse you." "2^n to 2^n... oo, that's bad..." "Empty is just kinda freaky..." "If there is nothing else to consume, we should put the consumer to sleep." "... it's because we're computer scientists and we like to sit around worrying about these things." "How many of you drank any alcohol last weekend? <2 people raise hands> That's 2 out of 26. The numbers are bad, guys; we have no lives." "If you are submitting a group assignment and parts of it were developed in conjunction with a source outside of your group (e.g. other classmates, a teammember's mom, the internet, a phone psychic), you should indicate on the assignment which parts are not your own and reference your source(s)." "Even if the problem is that you spent the weekend in a drunken orgy instead of doing your homework, please overcome your guilty feelings and ask for help as soon as you need it." Undergraduate Quotable Quotes These are some other quotes, from my undergraduate experience at Ohio University. These are mainly to prove I don't just pick on poor Hoosiers. :) Anthony: alcohol = good "If you treat Windows as a black box and poke it to find out when it
screams... that's perfectly legal." "You had a lot of fun with me, but now I'll have fun with you!" "Ask, and have fun of me!" "Less than 25 is really very bad." "You have no mathematical culture or whatever." "That's not nice." "So, in networking, 8 is really 6." "I'm not always talking in the air!" "To administrate it? You would need drugs that are only available by
prescription." "Does this make sense? No!" "You can see that the page already has the schedule for the first half, the
second half, and the third half of the quarter on it." "City 3 is very bad." "The next assignment won't be until next week. You have my permission to do
homework for other classes now." "It's old! You'll smell bad when you're old too!" "What is a subscript?" Clueless Wonder: "What is the difference between "must" and "can't"?" "What does 'not' mean?" "There must be some subset of humanity that knows how all this works or your
computers are useless. You are training to be that subset." "... and it has more random number than the universe!" "We're only off by a trillion or so..." "Because other professors are busy beating their students, I tend to make the
last week a little wimpy." "... it's actually majorly ugly..." "... which leads us to our hash elf... erm... sorry about that." "... the student was obviously masochistic and wanted to be punished." Student: "... and you have a math degree?" "How did I get started on this side topic? Does anyone know? I think I need
more sleep." "My argument isn't really relevant." "And thats true, except when its not." "This is one even the authors of our book don't even know about..." "... anyone? anyone? <no pause, continues talking> anyone? anyone? <no pause,
continues talking>" |
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