for me, death is no worries.
i've often thought that
i shouldn't have been born.
at first, this was a painful thing.
why am i here?
who in the fuck had the gall
to put my homely ass on this earth?
(well, ok, it was my Mom and Dad,
but even before i could articulate that
question or knew where kids came from,
i had the question.)
what did i do so wrong to deserve this?
after awhile, i came to believe
that this life of mine
was an incredible mistake.
my parents wanted me and all that.
just i didn't care to be here.
compared to apathy, death holds no fear.
death can't be worse than not wanting to be.
as i grew up, i realized that life wasn't so bad
and in time, i realized that life might be tolerable.
in fact, the thing that keeps me going now
is that i will not leave this life voluntarily.
and when i realized i controlled my own life,
by having the eject button under my finger
and by choosing not to press it,
my attitude began to change.
life got better still.
life got a whole lot better when
i changed my attitude about change...
and luckily enough, there are still
no worries about death,
so i don't care if there's a heaven or hell or nothing or
another life or it's just turtles all the way down --
i'll find out soon enough.
it's still a mistake that i'm here.
but, hey, might as well enjoy it.
and if tomorrow i face God,
and he's/she's pissed at me,
i chose.
i decided.
and if tomorrow i face a person
and he's/she's pissed at me,
i chose.
i decided.