it got worse as i got older.
i couldn't even walk on top of bleachers.
with a rail stopping me
from the FALL of about 50 ft.
GULP.
one day in the summer, my bro and his friend
were jumping off a bridge into the river.
a little bridge -- maybe 10' (3 m or so) up.
he coaxed me into jumping off it.
nice.
then we jumped off a higher part of the bridge.
about 20' (guess that's about 6.1 m) to the river.
that was getting scary
really scary -- but i Jumped.
whew!
then, we went to the railroad bridge.
40' (no more arithmetic) or so off the support to the river, I'd guess.
first i had to climb a ladder down to the pier.
i about died.
oh, shit.
then, i was stuck out on the support.
i walked to the edge.
looked down.
sheer gleaming white concrete,
rippling greenish-blue water with sun sparkles,
a little wind (would it blow me into the support?)
my brother jumped first -- he didn't die.
decision.
first, i stuck my toes over.
then i looked straight ahead,
after about a million years of seconds,
i looked down and
JUMPED!
it took forever to fall
and then i HIT the water.
the relief shot over me and through me
i survived, i triumphed, i DID IT!!
YEEE-HAW!!!
i'm still a little scared,
but at least,
i can walk on top of bleachers now.